2nd Annual Official Tree Cutting Exploration-Expedition Adventure, Extraordinaire (Weekend Edition), Part 2.

December 6, 2010 10:43 pm Sir Haxington Seattle

Right, so getting trees.

We skipped the mega-breakfast this time and opted for the a quick trip to Starbucks for some drip coffee and some turkey bacon sandwiches. And why not, throw in some protein plates. It could be a long day.

Boy, we had no idea.

The day started at 9am. We eventually took exit 47 off the I-90 around 10:30am. Then the real fun began.

At first, the drive was far less dangerous than anticipated. It’s amazing what a week of pro-freezing temperatures will do to a place. Sure it was a little icy, but we didn’t need chains. Yet.

A short drive up a few hills and we finally arrive where the forest rangers hang out every year. There’s a little turn off where the forest service guys chill and basically tell everyone:

“You got chains? Cause we’re recommending chains up there.”

They give the same line to everyone, every year, every day throughout the winter.

We pulled over to the turn off, and unlike last week, Pit Boss was successful with putting the chains on. You know, because they were actually new and not broken. A short reversal of The Element and tightening of the chains, and we were off.

We were headed. To the top.

You see, last year, we made it, maybe half way up the mountain. Then hiked in another 1/4 the way up. But this year? No, we were determined to reach the top.

So we drove. Much of the snow had melted at the lower elevations, but the roads were still extremely icy. Icier than the previous week. All the snow had been packed tight and if we didn’t have on chains, it would have been impossible to make it up.

We quickly passed the area where a Dodge Durango lost control and almost slid into us while we were inside The Element last year. We passed the hairpin corner where we saw the ’94 Chevy Blazer spin out and end up in a ditch last year. We pass the turnout where we saw the family having a picnic outside of the Vanagon. We passed the point where we got our tree last year.

We climbed and climbed. The mountains were amazing. Really, part of the reason to go up there is to see the beautiful views. The trees were on point.

We kept going until finally we met my personal hero of the day.

Old Man McMountain.

Wearing nothing but a pair of tan, non-waterproofed hiking pants, a bright blue coat and a beanie, Old Mac McMountain was the only guy keeping things in order up there. Sure, the rangers down below were nice. They told people to put on their chains. But that’s about it. Old Man McMountain actually up on the mountain, directing traffic. Helping people get unstuck. Keeping things orderly. Running up and down the mountain all day. He was working. He was in charge. And not getting paid a dime for any of it.

But even Old Man McMountain is no match for the onslaught of the Weekend Warrior.

Let the clusterfucking begin!  Old Man McMountain can see be seen in the background there, to the left of our vehicle. But look at all those trucks! Most of them had pulled off here to begin their snowventures. We weren’t having that. No, we still had half way to go.

But we were stopped. No go. Trucks blocking the road up ahead. This kind of thing happens regularly. You drive for five minutes, you sit for twenty, if you’re lucky. Sure, it’s slow going up there, which is actually good. Slow progress is progress. But when people decide to go fast, they do dumb things. And get stuck. And force an entire convoy of 4x4s to become gridlocked until they sort their shit out.

It’s fine. Really. We’re patient people. It gives us a chance to get out. Get some fresh air. Take some photos. See what’s going on. Meet some people.

Kids and dogs. Kids and dogs. Lots of both up there, loving it. But seriously, look at that line of trucks. We’ll be here for a minute two, so let’s find something interesting to take a picture of.

There we go. Didn’t have to look very far for cool things. Pun very much not intended.

I begin to worry. Yes, I feel like we’ll make it up to the top. It’s only a matter of time. I feel confident we’ll get an amazing tree. I am however beginning to become worried that I won’t get photographic or video evidence of the elusive Weekend Warrior. Sure, we saw some clusterfucks earlier in the day, but that was mainly people turning around or coming down as people were going up. Any real potential Weekend Warrior antics were happening very far up the convoy, out of sight. I want to see people acting a fool, as they say.

Eventually, we got moving again. We were destined for greatness. For now, the Weekend Warriors would have to wait. Maybe they’d even escape my photographic grasp. But remember the real reason we’re up here.

Trees.

…

Ding Ding! Part 3 is done!