Zero to Half-Marathon in Under Two Months

February 22, 2011 12:12 am Sir Haxington Life

I don’t consider myself to be an athlete. I’m not an athletic person. I’m not in great shape, even now. I play a lot of video games. I’m 30 years old. I sit at a desk all day.

So how is it that I can run 13.1 miles is under two hours? How is it I can run a half marathon and post a decent time, when less than two months ago I nearly passed out after running a single mile?

I did almost no research before deciding to run. I’ve never read a book about running (until over a month after starting anyway). I just decided to go for broke, and learn as I went along.

I get a lot of questions on how this is possible at all. I’ve been called “weird” for attempting long distances without “proper training.” So I figure it’s time to give away all my secrets.

I’ll describe my unconventional methods. Try these at home, or not. Maybe they’ll work for you, but I’m not promising anything.

However, I think anyone has the ability to do what I did. I don’t consider myself to be special at all.

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#1 – The Desire

First and foremost, you have to want to run. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to run?”

To lose weight? So you can eat whatever you want? For more energy? To get the attention of a man or a woman? Because you want to improve the way you look? So you can live longer?

These are all good reasons. Whatever your reason is, always remember why you started to begin with. Don’t lose sight of that, even when things get tough, because they will.

My reasons?

I just wanted to be a good runner. It’s something I’ve tried and failed at before, but this time I made a New Years resolution which I did  not want to break. I hate breaking my word so when I say I am going to do something, I mean it.

The other reason? To get in better shape. As I get older, I worry about my health more and more, so in my mind, it’s now or never.

#2 – Record keeping

I love data. Mmmmm hmmm. I love achievements, I love social networking, I love keeping score. A permanent record of anything motivates me. We also live in an awesome world where my phone can track my run with GPS on a map, and tell me how long it took, what speeds I ran at, the elevation I traversed over, and so on. This file is then automatically uploaded to a website when I finish my run that stores each run for comparison and analysis. For me, a motivating factor in nearly any task in life is tracking improvement.

There’s nothing quite like finally conquering a hill that you once had to walk up, then seeing the results the second you come home and look online. It feels great to see mile times come down and distances go up with each run. With numbers backing you up, it’s easy to know how much further to push yourself. Science is on your side and at your disposal.

I also love tracking routes before hand on a map. I can plot and plan then go do it. There’s a strange sense of accomplishment involved. Just think, you’ve planned for something, executed your plan, then succeeded! Most of building up to be a runner is simply a series of small victories. It’s like beating a level in a video game!

I prefer RunSaturday (RunSat) on my Windows 7 phone along with RunningFreeOnline. There are apps that work with this site for Android and iPhone as well. I highly recommend the site. It’s pretty robust with lots of features including some social networking of its own. Stat tracking, route planning, averages, charts, graphs, and holy cow I can spend an hour just looking at a simple 1 mile run. And it’s free. Again, this feels like a game to me.

#3 – Music

I simply cannot imagine running without music. I’ve tried this once and I didn’t like it at all. I’ll never run without music again.

I mean, who doesn’t love music? Every person on the planet loves music. So make a playlist with your favorite songs in it, and go.

Running is a rhythmic activity, and music keeps you on track. It keeps your mind off the act of running and any pain you might be enduring along the way. I set my footsteps and breathing to each song. For me, listening to music while running frees my mind to think about other things which for me, is probably the number one factor why I can do this at all. It would be simply impossible for me to run a half-marathon without music playing the entire time.

I use music in two different ways:

1. Random Jam: If I’m not trying to improve my time but instead, going for new distances or on a new route, I set my playlist to random. If my running experience is going to be new, I prefer new (random) music along the way. The surprise of an awesome song is like a gust of wind at my back that makes me go a little further and push a little harder. The problem of course, is when a less favorable song comes up. However, I don’t change the track. I try to find a new appreciation for the song and find a way for it to keep me on rhythm. A song I’m not super familiar with helps me ignore the fact that I’m in a new place or going further which can be a scary and intimidating thing.
2. Loosely Customized: I have a few playlists set up for known routes I have planned and run often. On these runs, I use songs as loose benchmarks to track how I’m doing. For example, I know that if The Watcher by Dr. Dre comes up and I’m only at the base of a particular hill, I know I’m running slower than usual and should try to push harder at some point. Conversely, if know that if Queen of Apology by The Sounds comes up and I’m nearly done going down that same hill on the way back, I’m ahead of where I should be, which motivates me to push harder to improve my time.

However, I don’t take the effort to say “This song should be used HERE to help me with THIS part of the run!” Instead, I just throw in a bunch of songs I know I would like to run to then just run to it. I don’t mix it up or change my static playlists very often.

#4 – Run with people and animals, or not

I don’t like to talk to other people while running. It throws off my rhythm and screws with my breathing. And again, I really only want to listen to music when I run.

I’m a bit of an anti-social runner I suppose. I actually like running with other people but I don’t want to have to talk to them. There’s something motivating about running in a pack, but for me it’s not necessary. I can just as easily run alone and be just as happy, but I do get a sense of excitement when running with others. It’s fun to mix it up.

When I run with others, I’ll slow down if they are slower than me. It feels good to pace them a bit and push them a little harder than they’d normally go. Just don’t push them beyond their limits or they’ll never go with you again. If you’re running with someone faster then you, feel free to go at your own pace, but push yourself a little to keep up. Let them motivate you to try harder.

I ran with a dog a few times. It was cool, but holding a leash can throw off your rhythm. Keep in mind, a dog will probably not get worn out, so don’t become too depressed when you’re dog tired and he isn’t.

#5 – Run on discipline

Forget schedules. Run when you want to. But run often.

When I first started, I ran maybe a little over a mile, then nearly passed out. I walked during the run as well. Then I took a week off as I became immediately ill. I thought I was done, and that I’d failed at running again. But once I got well again, I told myself to get back on the horse and pick up where I left off.

A huge part of running is doing it all the time. This sounds obvious, but it’s really not that bad. My initial goal, which I’ve far exceeded now, was to run at least 10 miles a week. The first week, I didn’t meet that goal. But I kept at it until the next week when I barely scraped by. I haven’t changed my goal, because I don’t want to have to start running 20 miles a week, for example. As long as I run 10, that’s plenty of good exercise, and everything else is just gravy.

10 miles a week is a good initial goal for someone who isn’t used to running. That’s 2 miles every day for a week, with two “break” days. Or, a mile here and three miles there. Or five miles then a few days of breaks with some two in there or whatever. You’ll figure it out, just be sure to split it up. Try running on back to back days if you feel up to it. Don’t “break” for more than a day.

Oh, and don’t make excuses for anything. Is it too late? Run at night. Is it raining? Get rain gear. Don’t let anything get in your way, short of physical injuries. Everything else are just excuses to not run, which means you’ll never reach your goals. So sack up and do it!

#6 – Run on emotion

Now that you’re running all the time, don’t feel like you need to run for any time or distance. Run what you feel like running, then try to push yourself just slightly beyond that if you can. I have a lot of things on my mind and deal with a lot of stress on any given day, so I used those demons to fuel my fire.

For example, a really awesome guy at work had to be transferred to another part of the company. We relied on him as a team member, but now he was gone. It really got to me, and on that same night, I ran the longest run I had ever run at the time, a 7.1 mile run. Up until then I had been regularly doing 2, 3 and 4 mile runs. Because I was frustrated and upset with life, I turned that negative energy into something good. Channeling your emotions, good or bad into running can be a powerful thing, which is why I don’t follow any training schedules and so fourth.

Another example: I was having a rough day and wanted to kick my own ass. Sometimes we all need a good ass kicking. There’s a particular nasty hill that drops 600 feet over a half mile or so. Running down the hill, all I could think about is “Why am I doing this? You know you have to run back up this right?” And the hill feels like it goes on forever! Just a deep decent with only one way back. Up. I just flew down the hill, knowing I was willingly descending into hell.

I reached the bottom of the hill, near a lake. I ran to the lake and back to start my climb. I’m pushing and pushing and pushing. Then I have to walk. My legs simply will not run anymore. I’m breathing heavily. I feel like dying. I try to start again, go maybe 10 feet then stop. I do this off an on. I end up walking most of the way up.

Once it flattened out, I tried running again. I could barely shuffle my way home. I was thoroughly exhausted. I didn’t run the next day.

But I got exactly what I wanted: an ass kicking tied to a strong sense of accomplishment for taking on that massive hill.

I save that hill for special occasions.

#7 – Walk it off

When you’re first starting, you will need to walk. Unless you’re already a runner or have been in the past, there is no way you’ll do your first few miles without stopping to walk once. Especially on or after hills.

Don’t be ashamed. I’m not. Walk if you need to! When I did 13.1, I walked once, around mile 8 or 9, after cresting a major hill. I walked for about five seconds, then ran the rest of the way. It’s cool! Just try to avoid it, and don’t use walking as a crutch. You don’t need to walk as much as you think, and a light jog is far better and prevents injury. Listen to your body, but don’t let it get the better of you.

#8 – The Crazy Factor and fighting the pain

This is truly my biggest secret, and how I was able to start running again at all. Be warned, this might not work for you, and I dare you to find any doctor that will support my actions.

Part of my New Years resolution was to run after every time I drank alcohol. Beer, wine, vodka tonics, whatever.

I would not simply add up my drinks then “run them off” later. Oh no, I would run the same night I went drinking. Why? Because I like drinking, but I wanted to go running. And, my theory was that if I ran while somewhat intoxicated, the pain and shock of running would be deadened. Numbed.

So that’s what I did, and it totally worked. Usually, I ran after two or three drinks, which was a light buzz for me. It felt great, and I didn’t feel any pain until the next day, except for the occasional side-ache along the way.  The best part was I didn’t feel shitty the next day. Running got the alcohol out of my system and I had way more energy the next day instead of feeling like I wouldn’t make it out of bed.

This has only backfired on me twice. Long story short, I took a wrong turn and got lost both times. That sucked.

Once, I ran down that Hell Hill, in the pouring rain, while intoxicated. That sobered me up pretty fast.

After a while, I tried running without drinking. I then found (not surprisingly) that I could go faster and further. Until then, the most I had gone was maybe four miles. Now that I had built up the ability to run that far while drunk, running five without drinking first was so much easier and rewarding. I don’t drink and run any more as a rule, and haven’t for weeks. But I wouldn’t be opposed to a three or four mile run after a few beers. It’s not that bad.

So there you go, my biggest secret to starting running. Go drink, have fun, then run when you get home.

#9 – Go hard

If you don’t sound like a porn star when you finish a run, you’re doing it wrong.

“Ahhhh! Haaaahhhhh! Fuuuuuuuuuck! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! Yeeaaaaaah! Ahhhhhh… ooooooh…… oooooooh…. fuuuuu… wooooo….. ahhhh… ahhh… wow… wow…”

Yeah, I just put that image in your head.

But in all seriousness, you should be groaning and panting when you’re done. It means you’ve done all you can and you’ve pushed yourself to the limit. You’ll find you hate it, but then you’ll also find you look forward to it. Plus, it feels liberating to let that out of your system. Don’t be embarrassed. If you have to, save it for the end. Try not to push yourself in the middle of the run, or it might be miserable getting back. But always try to sprint on the home stretch. You’ll feel awesome, and it’ll help you be a better runner in the long term. You owe it to yourself.

Once you’ve been at it for a few weeks, you’ll want to try sprinting stretches in the middle of the run. Go for it, but don’t go crazy. The urge to stop and walk will sneak up on you faster than you know, and stopping is bad.

Why is stopping bad? Your muscles basically get into a groove when running. The moment you stop, your shins might start hurting and your muscles start turning to stone, and it can be painful to start running again. They need to move. They want to move. So let them! Even if you have to lightly jog, do that rather than walk. Let your body catch up with itself then start moving faster again. You can jog and shuffle pretty much forever and not pass out. Jog or speed walk the whole way if you have to. Just don’t stop.

#10 – Stretch, at least a little

I used to not stretch at all, and I’d always be sore the next day. Stretching is important, but not as important as you’d think, at least from my experience.

I spend a few minutes at most stretching my legs. Mainly just touching my toes and holding that. I’ll stretch my calves a bit, my hamstrings and quads, then I’m off. Five minutes tops, usually more like two.

Once I’m done, I stretch my calves a bit, and that’s it. You basically need this or you’ll probably be sore the next day. But I never do warm up walks or anything like that. I just try to take the first mile easy, then go from there.

If you’re still sore you can…

#11 – Shower

I find that showers immediately after running make it so I can run the next day. Cold water helps with shin pain a great deal, and warm water over your calves while stretching is the best thing ever. Plus showers take off the stank, and no one wants to smell yo’ stank, dog.

A shower immediately after running is cleansing, refreshing and makes all the bad go away.

#12 – Good gear

Invest in good gear. Buy good running shoes. I wear Saucony running shoes and have never had problems with them. I have a thermal layer I wear to regulate temperature in cold weather, when I prefer to run. I have a nice REI shell jacket that lets me run miles in any condition, even in a down pour. Good electronics for music and stat tracking. A head lamp for running at night. The list goes on.

Shoes are the most important factor by far. Make sure to buy actual good running shoes. You’ll know them when you find then. When you put them on, it’ll feel weird walking around in them but when running in them, it’ll feel like you’re being propelled forward. Good running shoes are like magic and a necessity for success, so keep trying them until you feel what I just described.

#13 – Find your style

This might not come easily. I’m actually still experimenting a bit. When I run, I naturally tend to hunch forward a bit. This forces my feet to strike “mid-foot” which is the “right” way to run. Striking your heel first is bad from what I read, but I didn’t know this going in. I inadvertently ended up avoiding a bunch of injury this way. Try to land on the balls of your feet and arch, not your heel. It’ll save you from a bunch of pain. Just lean forward a bit and you’ll naturally do it.

I also “shuffle” more. I don’t take long strides unless I’m sprinting a section.

A friend of mine described it the best: “When you’re running right, you feel like you’re gliding. Your head shouldn’t be bobbing up and down a lot. That’s just lost energy that takes you up, then back down, putting pressure on places it doesn’t need to be.”

Also, use the rest of your body. Use the inertia of your arms pumping back and fourth to carry you forward. If you’re doing it right, you’ll feel the movement of your arms pulling you along. Again, it’s all science here. Physics is a wonderful thing.

#14 – Get inspired

I grew up in the same town and went to the same high school as Steve Prefontaine, a running legend. Growing up in Oregon, running is kind of a big deal. Once I decided to try to take up running again, I read a book on Pre and was blown away. Learning about how hard he went and how he amazed people with his talent made me want to get better. It gave me strength to push through those difficult days and ask myself “What would Steve do?” Of course, I already knew the answer. Keep going, and go harder.

Later, a friend of mine and fellow runner let me borrow a book about Dean Karnazez, a guy that ran 50 marathons in 50 days, one in each state. This guy is insane! He has run over 200 miles in one go, something I would have never thought possible. And he rarely gets injured or fatigued through all of this!

There will always be better runners than you. So get inspired by them! Maybe the stories of these talented people will help push you to be a better runner. You might also glean a few tips and trick along the way.

#15 – Run at night, and in the cold

I hate running in the morning. I’m not sure why. It’s a personal thing I guess. So I run at night.

Night running is awesome. I rarely see another soul, which for me is perfect. I love how peaceful my surroundings are and I feel completely alone and free. I don’t like distractions when I run, and other people and cars and children and dogs and traffic and all that gets in my way and makes me lose my focus. I hate losing my focus.

I wear a head lamp to see where I’m going. You can get them at REI for cheap. 75 lumens lights up the entire sidewalk and works perfectly.

I live near Seattle, where the climate is nice an chill most of the year. Cold conditions are better for running, which is another reason I prefer night running, because it’s colder at night. I love feeling the cold air on my skin as my body heats up, and I know I’ll never get too hot. It makes running so much easier and doable, I can’t imagine trying to start running in Las Vegas or Arizona.

Warning: Don’t run without light of some sort. I did this once and nearly killed myself by tripping and falling over a cracked section of sidewalk. It was pretty scary, and if I didn’t let my ego and desire to run get the better of me, it wouldn’t have happened. Lesson learned, so don’t make the same mistake I made.

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And that’s pretty much it. So far I’ve lost about 30 pounds just running often and adjusting my diet slightly. I have way more energy and feel much better about life. Running has become something I never intend to stop doing, especially with the results I’ve been getting.

When I attempted my own personal half-marathon, the longest distance I had done previously was 7.1 miles. All I did was imagine myself doing 13.1. I felt like I could do it. I knew to take it easy, and I learned from a few running friends that I should refuel along the way. Worst case? I would just walk if I got tired.

Given that, I jumped right in and went for it. 13.11 miles in 1:59:29 with some decent hills and elevation thrown in. If you would have told me in January that I would be running 13.1 miles non-stop by the end of February, I would have thought you were crazy.

And I didn’t feel sore or wrecked the next day after completing the run! I only felt extremely hungry the next day because I think my body expected that kind of run to be a regular thing, and it was prepping for it.

I really think that most people can achieve similar, if not better results. Like I said, I’m not secretly athletic. I used to live one of the most non-active lives of anyone I know.

I just decided one day I wanted to get into running then found ways to stay motivated and challenged.