113 MPH, Pt 2.

Part 1 found here. Read it first.

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When he arrived at Brian’s, Chris’ Blazer was already parked in the driveway. He got out of the cockpit and went straight to the downstairs of Brian’s house. The usual hangout spot. For once, they weren’t there. Instead they were upstairs arguing with Brian’s mother.

“No Mom! We’re not taking her! We’re leaving! Let’s go!”

“You have to take HER SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT IT!”

Brian’s parent’s were yellers. Often, they would just raise their voice in the middle or near the end of their sentence.  Brian would do the same in retaliation. Both he and his parents would then begin their sentences at a full tilt yell. Like clockwork he and Chris usually exited the room, attempting to contain their laughter and failing miserably.

They waited outside. Brian’s mother always took the female side in any argument, and this one was particularly nasty. After a few more minutes of screaming, Brian emerged.

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113 MPH, Pt 1.

I don’t condone speeding. It’s really never a good idea. However, I often wonder the fastest people have gone on four wheels. On a public road.

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Saturday afternoon in the summer. Nothing to do but play video games, talk on the phone, run around outside, hang out at each others houses. And get bored of it all.

Then the phone rang.

Blood pressure rising. Yes. Excitement. Pavlovian. Phone calls meant excitement. Something was about to change. What could it be? He waited for his parents to answer.

Whenever a girl called the house, his mother would yell it out in a sing-songy manner. It really embarrassed him for some reason. Probably because whoever the young lady on the other end could hear the whole affair and in his mind it killed any chance, however remote, he could have had with her. Teenage social castration. The worst thing imaginable. His mother was simply excited that girls were calling him.

“PhooOOOOOhhhOOOOohhhhoone! Iiiiiiiit’s Miiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”

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An Argument for Self-Esteem and Education

“Thus there are are five factors from which victory can be known:

“One who knows when he can fight, and when he cannot fight, will be victorious.

“One who recognizes how to employ large and small numbers will be victorious.

“One whose upper and lower ranks have the same desires will be victorious.

“One who, fully prepared, awaits the unprepared will be victorious.

“One whose general is capable and not interfered with by the ruler will be victorious.

“These five are the Way (Tao) to know victory.

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The Flamethrower, Pt. 3

Read Pt. 1 here and Pt. 2 here.

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Brian was letting fourth one more volley when a large green Ford F250 King Cab came roaring into the driveway. The vehicle stopped short, a few feet from Brian, nearly hitting him. Brian’s father’s white knuckles could be seen through the windshield, his mouth making a large ‘O’ shape along with his eyes. Then the yelling began.

At first Brian ignored his father. He continued to shoot flames as though nothing was wrong! Brian’s father rolled the windows down. He screamed.

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The Flamethrower, Pt. 2

Read Flamethrower, Pt. 1 first.

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The flamethrower became the regular topic of lunch discussion. When would they build it? Where would they get the fuel? Siphon it from a car? Would they go to the gas station? Would that look suspicious? Where would they shoot it? Brian’s? Would it even work? How dangerous could it possibly be? What would happen if they got caught?

The other lunch regulars thought the idea ranged from awesome to insane. That meant it was only a matter of time until this incredible and truly unique idea could be born into the universe. Were they the first to think of it? Pioneers!

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The Flamethrower, Pt. 1

More stories. Totally made up. Pics or it didn’t happen, right? Also, please don’t try this at home. It won’t work out for you. I promise.

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There used to be no such thing as the Internet. Well, the Internet had only recently come online for the public at large, but a website for Pepsi doesn’t count.

He’d login to the local BBS with a dial-up modem, usually at night, with a pillow over the modem to muffle the primitive digital screeches. He played door games, posted on forums and downloaded files. Most of those downloads were pictures of bikini girls that were made up of no more than 256 colors. Hot.

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Kiln Day

Kiln Day is always good.

My friend and co-worker Josh has a home made brick kiln in his backyard. He also has really cool neighbors and no HOA to worry about, which means we get to engage in some high heat and great experimentation. 1200 degree temperatures from a wood fire, here we come.

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Crack Cocaine

This story is definitely mature rated. Proceed with caution.

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“Going to be a great night. Going to be a great night. Going to be…”

He was prepping himself in the mirror. What a night it could be! Senior year. Going up into the woods. Allegheny. Probably drinking. Girls. Maybe even hot girls. Drinking though, yes. Social lubricant. Alcohol does interesting things to 17 year olds.

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